The incoherent ramblings of a woman with ADHD

Always be bloomin'

At least that's what it says on my graphic tee as I sit here, sipping on 2 hour old coffee, trying to write only my 2nd blog post ever. Yikes! LOL. I try to be optimistic about my journey and what part I play on this earth, but sometimes I just wish I could go back to a simpler time. Ya know, back to when CD's were popular. Back to where Record & Tape Traders' trash cans were plastered with safety stickers from the jewel case packaging. Those trash cans had life and proudly showcased purchased bands from Alanis Morisette to Ozzy to The Rolling Stones. They had weathered so many seasons, reminds me of easy days and my wild spirit. Back to when music was my passion. But alas, here we are in the last leg of 2022. Fighting about EVERYTHING. I'm just trying to stay afloat like everyone else.

Leveling up when your down and out...

It's hard to have the mindset "Always be Bloomin" when it all seems like a curve ball thats headed directly between your eyes. Geeez, between parenting, employment, friendships, and daily life obligations, I'm surprised I'm still standing some days. The kicker is, I know humans that have double on their plate than I do. I don't want to complain, just mind blown really...

The "Covid Years" really threw me for a loop and I don't think I've been more emotionally drained, EVER! Everything was just too much. I didn't really understand the magnitude of the force that just fell over me. A big dark heavy blanket. Ah, I see you depression.

Depression isn't a new phenomenon in my family, but it is for my household. I spent days sitting on my sofa watching tv re-runs, feeling sorry for myself, trying to navigate my way through the house just to take a shower. Like a bad dream, I just wanted to snap my fingers to get out of that rut. So, I picked up my camera after many failed attempts, I figured, might as well give it another go! If you've followed my photography from the beginning, you'll be familiar with the bees, bugs, flowers, and sunsets that I thought made me a photographer. If you're just climbing aboard, you're lucky! For real though, We all start somewhere and to be honest, I still don't have a niche. I see beauty and creativity everywhere that its so hard for me to box myself in a specific style. I pushed myself to photograph everything. My pup Deezle has become my favorite model with Finnegan being my runner up.

Since I've been able to solely focus on my photography for the past year or so, the amount of my soul poured into each of my projects is immeasurable. Hundreds of hours have been spent researching color theory, lighting, composition, camera fundamentals and educating myself on techniques to develop my own unique style. Undoubtedly, the most important thing I've learned is, time is precious. Not only time in general, but that MY time is precious as well.

That's what you call "Leveling Up".

We are only human...

So, when you level up, its not like Super Mario Bro, you don't get to slide down the flag pole, there are no fireworks, no princess and I didn't receive any extra lives, but there is this cool feeling of accomplishment. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the first time I've "leveled up", I guess you could say, this time was like getting all time high score on your absolute favorite video game (Mine was Barbie for Nintendo). I found that I really enjoy making people smile. Getting that candid laughing smile, thats the best. Being able to help that person fall in love with themselves is an incredible power. I smile when I see their eyes light up after they see how truly beautiful they are. Each human is so amazingly unique and each with a story thats equally compelling. I want to hear them all. It was like I found the buried treasure in my soul, the key to my happiness and it's thrilling.

Find your passion and roll with it, as long as it's not hurting anyone, ya know?

Thats what makes the old days seem like they were the best days. Nothing to worry about. you were free to be as creative as you wanted to be... in fact, it was encouraged. To use our finger tips to create magnificent refrigerator masterpieces

Well...

That's a deep subject...that I should probably leave alone until I get another random urge to write a blog. However, I still feel like I need to put something meaningful here, like a sign off. Jerry Springer had one, Bob Barker had one, even The Rock had one...ok, ok, maybe The Rocks signature saying wasn't inspirational, but it went viral and I don't know about you, but I could definitely "smell what he was cooking'". That has to count for something right?

Lets circle back to the beginning, when I said, I wish I could go back to a simpler time... Im just trying to do good things and make good choices and you should too. Everyone, and I really do mean everyone, is going through some heavy shit, take it easy on yourself and others.

Much Peace & Love to you all.